BUFF 2005

I’m not involved with the Underground Film Festival this year, though
it is taking place entirely in my neighborhood and I’ll be attending.
The schedule looks good and the web site actually has information this year!

Li’l Buggy

Aw, look at this cute little car. I think I could crush it between my fingertips. And park it in my foyer.
via suw

Roommate Wanted

Sublet starting June 1. Small room in big house in Davis Square, 2
blocks from T. Share with one very cool girl and two computer guys. Big
kitchen, dining room, living room, 2 bathrooms, 2.5 porches. Rent
$550/mo, not including utilities. No apes.

Music For Sale

I bought a Bright Eyes CD. What the hell was I thinking? What a bunch
of whiney crap. And moronically juvenile lyrics. Some of the musical
arrangements were very cool though. Anyone want to buy it off me? $2 or
best offer.

I also bought Modest Mouse, which I liked much more. Though I was
thinking at first “Wow, these guys are like nothing I’ve ever heard
before…oh except that sounds kind of like Mudhoney…and that’s sort
of Flaming Lips-ish…” I still like it though.

On the Rebound

I have overwhelmed my germs with loads of vitamins and fruits sleep and
water water water and they are beaten. Everyone in my family said
they’d had this thing for more than a week, and my roommate had it all
last week, but tomorrow I will be back in action. And the three pounds
of turkey and stuffing and chocolate that I gained over Easter have
also been flushed away with the germs, so I am no worse for the wear.
Just bored to tears and eager to get out of the house.

Kinky for Governor

Kinky Friedman is running for Governor of Texas. His campaign slogan is “Why The Hell Not?” Maybe I’ll move to Austin so I can vote for him.

Sniffle

The incubation period is now over and it’s official: I’m sick. In case
you were wondering, a surefire way to get sick is to go visit a house
full of people who are ALL sick, stay there for two days, and share a
bed with one of the sickies. It helps if these people also stress and
depress you, which will help to suppress your immune system for maximum
germ invasion.

Korean Absurdity

Serpico files the following report from Korea:

The City Hall building in the borough where I live and
work has this office, near the ones for COMPLAINTS and
DISPOSAL OF TRASH REGULATIONS:

ABSURDITY

Here, you are supposed to report “all sorts of absurdity.”

From the official grid of phone numbers:

Trash Disposal – 555.0001 – Questions about refuse,
recycling, odors
Complaints – 555.0002 – Mistreatment by city officers
Absurdity – 555.0003 – All sorts of absurdity
Elder Citizens – 555.0004 – Free health care for the
aged

He is on assignment to obtain a photo of the Door of the Office of Absurdity. I think he should also try to file a report on his “Korean landlord who reams you out for a half an hour in Korean, spitting in some unexplainable rage, and then puts a little sticky note on your door at two in the morning that says “I sorry” with a frowning cartoon face on it. Is that saving face?”

Film Geek Love

This “eligible cinephile” states the problem with “movie dates”:

“There’s a problem with going out with film buffs,” he said. “Any
time you share an interest with somebody, and you make that the
starting point for getting to know the person, you can never be sure -
unless you do something drastic, like trying to kiss them – you can
never be sure if they simply want to see the film in your company, or
if they find you attractive and want you to find them attractive.”

A
film date, in his view, is awkward by its very nature. “To like going
to films, not unlike liking to read, involves a certain cultivation of
solitude,” he observed. “Even if you’re on a date – unless you’re with
one of these idiots who wants to hold your hand through the whole film
- you don’t interact with the other person during the film. Which can
be very frustrating to some people. They think they’ve spent two hours
with you when all they’ve done is sit next to you.”

I solve this problem by rarely going to the movies any more. But hey
ladies, if you want a guy who sees 10 movies *minimum* per week and
works as a temp in order to have a schedule flexible enough to allow
him to see all those movies, he’s available and looking.

Crazy Frog Censored!

Alien genitalia (or fabricated external frog genitalia) is apparently scandalous.

Wouldn’t it have been easier (and more discreet) to airbrush it out?
Especially when the leaf doesn’t even cover the whole appendage?

thanks to tangerine torpedo for the head’s up.

So Much For Interruption In Service

It’s raining and everyone here is deathly ill and now I have an earache. Happy Easter!

From the Maryland News Desk

Last night I had a strangely lucid dream. It was like a little movie in my head, with snappy dialogue, conflict, resolution, no bizarre twists or turns or appearances by my 3rd grade teacher covered in spaghetti, none of that. It was kind of a nightmare too, so it was like a little horror film in my head. I know exactly where it came from too. Late last night I went into the basement to do laundry (yes my suitcase was filled entirely with dirty laundry–I don’t feel so bad doing that after hearing from my 40-year-old German friend that he takes suitcases full of dirty clothes home to his mother in Germany every year). So it was late and I was in the creepy basement and as soon as I walked in to the laundry I felt this tingling on my head, like someone was running their fingers through my hair. When I left the laundry room it stopped. When I went back into put the stuff in the dryer, it started again, and was a bit stronger. And it happened again when I went back to get the stuff out of the dryer.

I chalked it up to static electricity but I was spooked and then went to bed and had a freaky horror-film dream that I think I will write down because it’s basically a little short story that was handed to me while I was sleeping.

Dear MBTA,

Why can’t you be more like the D.C. subway system? It is much better than yours. They have monitors telling you precisely how long you’ll be waiting for your train (rather than a scratchy intercom with the volume too low and the sound quality too poor to understand anyway). They have blinking lights to tell you when a train is approaching (rather than MBTA’s trusty low-fi system of screeching train tracks to alert you to an oncoming train). They have the subway right at the airport. They have working escalators.

 

They also have higher fares, though, so I guess it’s a toss-up. My fare from National Airport to Silver Spring, Maryland  was $3.12. They like to punish those who don’t live in the city. Within-city fares are more like $1.35.

Interruption In Service

Tomorrow I’m off to Maryland, where in two days I will likely gain back
much of the weight I’ve sweated off in recent weeks. Happy Easter.

Oh No You Don’t

After seeing Million Dollar Baby, no way in hell am I going to see Cinderella Man. I have no desire to be suckerpunched again.

SXSW 2006

I’m so jealous of all the people who got to go to SXSW.
I want to go next year. But who can afford $500 for a festival, plus
flight and hotel? I think I will move to Austin. And somehow get some
sort of press credentials. Or maybe just write a winning blog post.

Ah Romance

I guess this page has been around awhile, but this is the first I’ve seen it and it’s hilarious: Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About. A taste:

Shortly after every single time Margret touches my computer, for any reason whatsoever, I have to spend twenty minutes trying to fix crashes, locked systems, data loses, jammed drives, bizarre re-configurations and things stuck in the keyboard. There then follows a free and frank exchange of views with, in my corner, ‘It’s your fault,’ and, in hers, ‘It’s a curious statistical anomaly.’

via bitchphd

Hero

I have watched half of Hero and it’s boring the shit out of me, though it’s very pretty. Here is my estimation of the film’s message so far:

Postscript: After viewing the second half I’d say the message is the same. Perhaps slightly altered to “My penis is so mighty I dont even need to fight you!”

Glomitts

You all think you’re so cool with your manufactured bum-finger gloves but I got the real deal, old school:

So punk rock.

St. Patty’s Day Trolls

I am tired and punchy today–the comments at the end of this post had me folded over in my chair laughing.