Love Snobs
April 18, 2005Makeoutcity quotes Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:
I’ve asked women in female audiences around the world, it’s so funny to see this – no matter where you are, be it a non-Jewish audience in the Netherlands two months ago, to Jewish audiences in New York, “who here needs a man?” You will see three or four hands go up. I don’t mean three or four percent, I mean three or four hands. And then I say to them, “Do you need a refrigerator?” All the hands go up. The inability to be vulnerable is the problem: it’s the depth personality not the surface personality that has to fall in love.
Now that we no longer see love as a need, but as a luxury, what’s the definition of a luxury? A luxury always has to be the best. When it comes to necessity, “good enough is good enough.” When it comes to luxury: only the best. The luxury items are always Gucci… When love becomes a luxury not a necessity, “nah, I’m not gonna marry anyone. I need the best, because I could live without it. It’s not a need.” When it comes to food, I don’t need the best restaurant. I need food that’s good. But if food became a luxury, we’d all go to five star restaurants, because it’s not a necessity and we could live without it. We’re a generation that’s incapable of identifying our core needs.
[...]
It’s no wonder [dating shows] are so popular. It’s a cry for help. It’s like, “I can’t meet anyone. Even when I’m meeting someone I’m not interested in them. No one’s good enough.”
This is a typical story. I asked this guy, who’s dated 200 women, why he’s not married yet. He gave me the typical response: I haven’t yet met the right person. “I want someone really special”. I said, “Do you realize what you’re saying? Only 1% of the population is really special. 99% of people are ordinary. You’re part of the 99%!” We don’t realize these dumb statements like, “I haven’t met the right person.” Garbage! There are tons of people. There’s something inside you that won’t allow you to fall in love. Stop blaming the people. It’s you!
on the other hand i once noticed how utterly desparate people are about finding a partner. contrast job applications to personals, and it seems like people will settle for much less in personals. you often see ads like ‘there must be *someone* out there for me’ and ‘it’s winter – i just want to cuddle up with someone’. however you rarely see job cover letters that say – “i’ve tried to find to many jobs and they all weren’t right, or didn’t want me – there must be one job that is right for me. maybe you are that job? maybe?” or “i haven’t had a job for so long, i just want any job. thanks for your consideration”. no, people really apply themselves for a job, but not at all for a date. don’t know, always seemed odd to me.
*lol* a cover letter like that would be hilarious.
oh this is just too good:
“Today, the only thing that seems like dignity is financial prosperity: your own TV show, your own radio show. That’s what we want as dignity. We’ll do anything to be in the spotlight. Lacking Inner Light, lacking really nobility of character, we depend on the spotlight; the external light. This is a generation that confuses dignity with celebrity. Being famous means being important.
Previous generations never made that mistake. They were really into honour.”
that coming from a rabbi that is putting out books and has his face plastered all over them, and his website! hypocrite. i totally stopped listening now.
yeah a hypocrite and he’s blaming it all on women. “Nothing’s growing and we have to know why. Did something in the earth change? Did the seeds change? Did society change? Did women change?”
well we know it’s not the earth or the seeds, so it must be women!