merkley???: i drove them off
me: how did you manage that
merkley???: by being unavailable emotionally
and then following that up with loud bouts of neediness
mixed with resentful texting
and insecurity disguised as arrogance
me: way to go
via raymi
…at Madam’s Organ, located in Adams Morgan, the Williamsburg of D.C.:
Bill Clinton Burger………………………………………………………………………….$6.99
Fat All-American, with a large dill and a slice on the side ($1.00 off for women who have slept with the Pres., Limit: 3 per table).
Dubya Burger…………………………………………………………………………………$6.99
Same as the Clinton but definitely something missing- – - guaranteed to start a war or help you find Jesus. (50 cents Off–you get what you vote for). Add cheese or bacon for .50.
At the National Portrait Gallery:
A woman marches up to the portrait of FDR, plants herself firmly, and then turns to her companion and says sourly: “Imagine, the gall of that man, running four times.”
I really regret having discovered it. It is the dumbest game in the world but it is EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE. Click at your own risk…
An actual ad taken out by an actual church in an actual Texas online magazine:
via Duff:
“Sometimes I have trouble explaining Lubbock to people who don’t live here. I worry sometimes that I’m too harsh, that I may be giving people the wrong impression with descriptions that sound like simplistic hyperbole.
Sure, I can tell you we’re 80% Republican with a church on every corner, but what does that mean? How does that feel? What kind of people would build a society like that?
My local friends chide me for being too harsh, but now I have proof. I just ran an ad for Friday’s paper that will show you the truth of Lubbock, condensed into one beautiful, perfect image.
Sure, I could show you the stadium, the sports events, and the Buddy Holly statue, but that won’t show you what Lubbock is. It won’t show you how Lubbock feels.
This will.”
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying:
“Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks…
“How many is a Brazillion??!”
via Lisablog
Thanks to Duff for pointing out that at least one other person
is not impressed with Sara Silverman’s schtick. I especially agree with
the observation that there’s nothing behind her simple shock value:
As a comedian doing edgy material she lacks Chris Rock’s
stamina and energy and is further hindered by the fact that there’s not
very much going on behind her jokes beyond the element of surprise. I
left wanting something a little more. For all the talk of her material
being “transgressive” (a bullshit artist term) or of it challenging the
audience’s hypocrisy, there’s not a trace of either motive to be found
in her act. Much of her stage persona is merely an acknowledgement
that the standard comedic approach to controversial subjects is no
longer very fresh or relevant because these subjects have been
endlessly trivialized by sanctimonious PC nags. And therein lies the
appeal – generations following the sanctimonious Boomer cohort have
gotten sick of the exquisite sensitivities of the permanently aggrieved
and find some kind of relief in material that tramples on them.
One thing that does bug me about Silverman is the tendency of pompous
magazine writers to describe her act as if it is the most outrageously
daring thing ever conceived. “Silverman crosses boundaries that it
would not occur to most people even to have,” bleats The New Yorker in a typically meaningless formulation (re-read it: it is in fact meaningless). If by most people The New Yorker
means the average peasant, then some variation of that bleat could be
true, but in that case it would also be true of thousands of other
comedians today. This of course isn’t Silverman’s fault, but it’s an
assessment that could grow to overshadow her act. Boundary Crossing
Girl is a comedic dead end.
I really regret having discovered it. It is the dumbest game in the world but it is EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE. Click at your own risk…
An actual ad taken out by an actual church in an actual Texas online magazine:
via Duff:
“Sometimes I have trouble explaining Lubbock to people who don’t live here. I worry sometimes that I’m too harsh, that I may be giving people the wrong impression with descriptions that sound like simplistic hyperbole.
Sure, I can tell you we’re 80% Republican with a church on every corner, but what does that mean? How does that feel? What kind of people would build a society like that?
My local friends chide me for being too harsh, but now I have proof. I just ran an ad for Friday’s paper that will show you the truth of Lubbock, condensed into one beautiful, perfect image.
Sure, I could show you the stadium, the sports events, and the Buddy Holly statue, but that won’t show you what Lubbock is. It won’t show you how Lubbock feels.
This will.”
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying:
“Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks…
“How many is a Brazillion??!”
via Lisablog
Thanks to Duff for pointing out that at least one other person
is not impressed with Sara Silverman’s schtick. I especially agree with
the observation that there’s nothing behind her simple shock value:
One thing that does bug me about Silverman is the tendency of pompous
magazine writers to describe her act as if it is the most outrageously
daring thing ever conceived. “Silverman crosses boundaries that it
would not occur to most people even to have,” bleats The New Yorker in a typically meaningless formulation (re-read it: it is in fact meaningless). If by most people The New Yorker
means the average peasant, then some variation of that bleat could be
true, but in that case it would also be true of thousands of other
comedians today. This of course isn’t Silverman’s fault, but it’s an
assessment that could grow to overshadow her act. Boundary Crossing
Girl is a comedic dead end.
This almost makes the hipster knitting trend not annoying: Dawn of the Knitted Dead!
Patton Oswalt describes his new puppy:
“he’s
a walking cuddle party made of cupcakes with happy frosting on it and
also angels singing and he’s a widdle pootie dootie wiggle-worm…”
New favorite British comedy: Little Britain.
Thanks to seasull for tipping me off. I’ve been going around talking to myself in a British accent the past few days thanks to this show.
Oh I love Andy Dick. Thanks to Mika for pointing out this video clip of Andy as Bush’s speechwriter that made me both cringe and laugh out loud.
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